Friday, November 25, 2011

Burdened to Soar

     I have gotten into a new pattern where each night I ask God for some gem to sustain me for the next day.  Wednesday night it was "But I call to God, and the Lord saves me.  Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice." (Psalm 55:16,17)  Little did I know how much I would need that reassurance the next day. I did not anticipate Thanksgiving would be so hard. I did not dread it like I did my birthday, but all of a sudden the grief started bubbling out.  I was flooded with memories of my mom and I's last holiday together - trying to be thankful in Tucson even though I was away from my husband and kids, in the midst of fighting a battle to move mom to Kansas City to be in hospice at my Uncle's house.  
     So I let the tears come - those burdensome tears.  It says in Psalm 55:6 to cast your burdens on the Lord and He will sustain you.  As I studied Psalm 55 more thoroughly I read in Streams in the Desert that the word burden is what Jehovah has given you. Burdens are given by God so we might wait on Him.  It said that after the waiting, He transforms the burden into a pair of wings but us casting them on Him and trusting Him to take care of them.  Only then are we able to "soar on wings like eagles" (Isa. 40:31)
O paradox of Heaven. The load 
We think will crush was sent to lift us 
Up to God! Then, soul of mine,
Climb up! Nothing cane'er  e crushed
Save what is underneath the weight.
How may we climb! By what ascent
Will we crest the critical cares
Of life! Within His word is found
The key which opens His secrets stairs;
Alone with Christ, secluded there,
We mount our loads, and rest in Him.
      by Mary Butterfield

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